i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
