You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
