we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
