That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
