On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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