its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
