i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
