she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
