"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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