shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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