My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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