i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
