It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
