Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
