I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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