We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
