North Korea, Best Korea!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
