Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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