don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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