I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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