i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
