Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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