Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
