Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
