I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
