You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
