ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
