Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
