and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
