its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
