ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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