She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
