In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
