i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
