she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
