Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
