when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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