i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
