Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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