Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
