i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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