i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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