It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
