with your own penis?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
