real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
