You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
