mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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