finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
