soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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