I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
