I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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