i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
